It was arrogant of me to think that life would go my way just because it was mine. As a child and an adult in the playground in my heart, I struggle, hesitate, and feel afraid. Even if it seems like a small ant, not me, is making me move and everything appears to be set, it is still up to me to decide and move on. Wouldn’t there be my own meaning to life at the end of it?

Because this is my graduation work, I wanted to capture a time in my life when I thought more deeply than ever about how to live. During that period, I was constantly anxious and restless, unsure of what to do—and that feeling is deeply embedded in the work. Nothing was easy: making decisions, putting in the effort, enduring the struggle, and finally facing the results. I created a nude character to reflect that vulnerability—the image of someone who has grown into adulthood, yet still doesn’t feel fully like an adult, nor a child. The god—or what some might call fate—that tormented me and kept pushing me to the edge appears as a small ant, like the ones we used to see so often at playgrounds in childhood. Life feels like it’s about building things up, yet somehow always returning to where we started. It reminds me of the way we played at the playground—climbing, sliding, swinging. Things that seem so easy now may have once felt scary and difficult in a time I no longer clearly remember. Just as it was my own choice to slide down or push my feet on the swing even when an adult placed me there, I believe that even if the ant pushed me toward an end, and gave me no clear reason, I still would have done something in the end. I hope that this delicate tension between choice and fate, between the ant and myself, is well captured in [Dariki]